AND I WAS READY TO GIVE UP...

Author: Khushbu Jain

The thing that kept me going was not a saying, “Never give up.” Initially, it was an urge to do something for myself, which then shifted to "I want to do it for my teacher and her efforts."

The story began when, in the first BHMS, one of our professors announced Short Term Studentship in Homoeopathy (STSH)* in class, and it struck me instantly that I must do this. I did not get selected in my first year, and tears started rolling down as I heard the results, but as the wave of disappointment passed, I decided not to give up and try again next year.

In the second year, the announcement came, and as I promised myself, I was all set to try once again, and this time with more enthusiasm, excitement, and positivity. While my guide was firm and confident in my idea, the co-guide was skeptical. It was challenging for me to keep on going ahead, but at the back of my mind, I was sure I was on track. I was doing it for myself. I recalled my pledge, which I made earlier, that I wanted to do it for myself. In the background of my belief, I always had the back of my guide and her faith in me. Again, the result of the proposal selection came, and I failed to get through the results again!! I was shattered and heartbroken. My guide was sorry for me; it was not even her fault; she was always there by my side with a positive outlook. Second, disappointment almost shook me, but this time my guide was with me, who took ownership of my failure and was sailing in the same boat as me. That day, I decided to try again, but this time not for me but for her. I learned an important lesson from her about what it means to be kind-hearted and empathetic. I am thankful that she called me on the night of the result day to ensure that I had taken it well, while I almost gave up.

In my third year, I have applied for STSH again. I was on ground zero once again, all set with a new vision. However, there were some logistic issues anticipated for execution. While forming the proposal for my project and listening to this, I cried badly, as if someone had died, while talking to my mother. But thanks to the research supervisor, who got herself personally involved, it got resolved. I was overjoyed that my proposal was uploaded, despite a few hurdles, and this time I have not even thought of the outcome. The upload of the proposal was a kind of victory for me. On the day the result was declared, I was hesitant to open the file, as this time I was sure that my name would not have been reflected in the selected project list. Eventually, I discovered that... “I got selected!” I have cried this time also, but of course out of happiness. Thanks to both the gurus who supported and motivated me throughout the journey. I would not have made it without their kindness and support.

Guru Shishya Parampara traces its roots back to 5000 BC, while the modern concept of student-teacher and guru-shishya relationships go parallel, but they are far more multifaceted. The respect, commitment, devotion, and obedience of the student and the genuineness of the guru for their shishya were some of the reasons India rooted its rich educational heritage. A guru is like a beacon for their students, helping them stay in the right direction and path. They can dispel all the doubts and make the path crystal clear. And in my journey with STSH, they are the reason behind my ‘Resilience.’

* STSH (Short Term Studentship in Homoeopathy)- "The Short Term Studentship Programme was started by the Central Council for Research in Homoeopathy (CCRH) to encourage undergraduate medical students' interest in and aptitude for research. This program's primary goal is to give undergraduate medical students the chance to become familiar with research methods and approaches through autonomous projects or by spending a brief amount of time working on existing research programmes with their seniors. This could encourage them to pursue a profession in research in the future.

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